Sunday, July 24, 2005

Quest For Turkey Bacon

Aaron's Gourmet wrote back, and they said:

Dear Balabusta,

We carry all types of kosher products, however, there is no bacon nor any pork products involved.

I've written back, trying to explain. I'm interested to see that they didn't exactly get the drift of my post. I wrote in part:

Hi--I'm trying to find out if there is a source out there for kosher turkey ham and/or bacon.

I think they may have read this as "kosher turkey, ham, and/or bacon", and not realized that 'turkey' is an adjective modifying 'bacon' in this case. I'm starting to realize that this may just be an untapped market. Why? Turkey bacon and ham are selling big these days, they're good quality products, and they would allow kosher cooks a lot of room to make meals that otherwise don't happen. If 'bacon' and 'ham' turns off the core market, how about 'turkey strips'? 'Hickory-cured turkey'?

Now if I had the slightest idea how to start a turkey bacon business, I would see this as a business opportunity.

Actually, there is a product I found in the lists at Aarons called 'beef fry', and based on other searches I suspect this might be some sort of beef bacon. I don't want beef bacon, though. It's really not that great, whereas the turkey is better for you, and has that nice salty crispness.

On an earlier theme, Aarons also writes (as part of a long letter introducing me to the company):

Aaron's Gourmet is also a producer of Kosher Turduckens. A Turducken is a fully boneless stuffed hen (stuffed with a choice of stuffing: vegetable challah or rice with vegetables), which is stuffed into a fully boneless duck and then both are stuffed into a fully boneless turkey, with the same stuffing. A Turducken looks like a plain stuffed turkey, but don't be fooled. This is no ordinary turkey. Just put one on a Simcha table and don't tell the guests what it is. Let them think it's just a plain turkey. When it's time to carve, you ask for everyone's attention and cut it all the way through. Don't be afraid. It's fully boneless. All you hear is: What? Oh! Ahh.

So there you have it.


Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

Alan Scott asked me to pass along to you the following (since you don't accept anonymous comments and he has no blogger account):

hey can you tell balabusta in blue jeans for me that the kosher restaurant in washington DC has turkey bacon (i'm pretty sure, theres a small chance it may be beef bacon, but its definitely not "beef fry"), so that my help her in her search.

also point out the terrible things rubashkins (aaron's brand) did, re: tsaar baalei chayim and then calling their critics antisemites and all the other crappy stuff. she should get her turkey bacon from another source

Failed Messiah has a whole series of posts about the Aarons/Rubashkins scandal.

Balabusta in Blue Jeans said...

Thanks, and thank you too, Alan. Does he, or you, know the name of the restaurant in question?

Didn't make the Aaron's/Rubashkin connection, also, so thanks for pointing that out. I just hope there IS a source for this stuff.

Uh, and can you explain your name for me? I understand that the Goblin King shares his lesson plans with nobody, but does he give name clarifications?

Maybe I should enable anonymous comments.

Anonymous said...

Hey Balabusta

I'm gonna be eating there on Wednesday, I can double-check for you. It's called "Eli's Restaurant" and it's on 20th St. NW in the Dupont Circle neighborhood.

-Alan Scott

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

"Steg" is a nickname my cousin made up in middle school. It has nothing to do with stags of any sense, or with the dinosaur stegosaurus — it's just a part of my name, modified for comedic effect.

dos iz nit der šteg
דאָס איז ניט דער שטעג
is a Yiddish expression that means "that is not the way". I learned the word šteg (š = sh) when i took a Yiddish course, and it got associated in my mind with my nickname "Steg".

And "Goblin King" is because in college i was co-president of our local LARP group, and when i graduated and left my character got 'upgraded' to special cameo appearances as the King of Goblins (even though he's human).

Balabusta in Blue Jeans said...

Alan, I assume that's you? Thanks! And Steg, thanks as well.

I'll see if I can contact Eli's.

The search is on!

Balabusta in Blue Jeans said...

Okay, I see it's you, you signed it. I'm a little spaced this morning.

Thanks again!

Anonymous said...


I actually ended up eating at Eli's last night, and it was tasty. But unfortuantely when I checked the menu I found out that their kosher bacon was "beef pastrami bacon", which is not what you're looking for. :(
Good luck!

Balabusta in Blue Jeans said...

Thanks for finding out!

ByTheBay said...

I know it's been ages since you posted this but - A fellow East Bayer wants to know: Have you found kosher turkey bacon yet? Does it exist?