Saturday, July 16, 2005

Adventures in Meat

Today I found some books with information about Jewish medieval cooking online, and ordered 'em used on Amazon. This is part of my ongoing fascination with medieval Jewish cultures, mostly channeled through my SCA activities. Anyway, I happened to call an SCA friend about something else, and mention the books, and she pointed out that if my research got detailed, I should cook a feast 'or something'.

(I'm using every ounce of strength I have not to start explaining the SCA for non SCAniks, because it's my blog, and I assume everyone here is on my wavelength. If you want to know, ask.)

So it occurs to me, while I am thinking about feasts, to wonder if there is such a thing as a kosher goose available out there. I go onto Google and check.

The jury's still out. There's some fabulous kosher gourmet place in Rego Park, Aaron's Gourmet, and they apparently had goose at some time in the past, but the website doesn't currently mention it. They do have some stuff I want to try now, kosher chicken sausages in particular.

They also have turducken.

KOSHER turducken.

Not kidding. Yes, a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey, all kosher, and stuffed with challah stuffing.

Apparently (it gets better), you can get a kosher for Pesach turducken. With matzah stuffing.

Okay, folks, here's my question: WHO MAKES TURDUCKEN FOR PESACH? WHO? I'm trying to visualize this, and my brain is shutting down. Worse, I'm imagining a turducken version of Chad Gadya. "Then came a turkey and swallowed the duck..."

Anyway, if you want one, two hundred bucks will get you a boneless, glatt kosher, Pesadik turducken, shipped to your door.

Emboldened by this experiment, I started looking for kosher turkey bacon. No dice. I've done this before. I just can't believe there is no kosher turkey bacon out there. I see references to it in recipes. I just can't find the actual product.

Now I'm in phase three, thinking about how I should cut back on my meat consumption. I think I'm eating way too much of it, and mostly to keep the fella company. You know, if I stopped eating red meat, I could just make a lovely vegetarian dish for me, and grill a steak for the fella. He'd be thrilled, and I could stop thinking vaguely guilty thoughts.

A good week to all.


Barefoot Jewess said...

Actually, I did see an episode on the Food Channel which addressed that very same thing. Except that it wasn't kosher.

I guess this fits with the gourmet kosher end? I can't imagine most of us have gone there, kosher or not.

But I am a food porno afficionada. Too cool! Bring it on!

Eliyahu said...

when i heard the word "turducken", i thought it was some medieval fantasy creature, like the modern jackalope. but kosher turducken, i've got to get my meds checked, clearly they need to be adjusted.

Balabusta in Blue Jeans said...

Actually, a friend informs me that turducken is almost identical to a medieval recipe. Turkey being unavailable, medieval cooks (gentile medieval cooks, that is), stuffed all the various fowl into a roast pig.

Not gonna try it at home. Or abroad, either.

Shira Salamone said...

Love your culinary version of Chad Gadya. :)

What, we're not already dog-tired from cleaning the place for Pesach? Now, we gotta make stuffing, stuff it into a chicken, stuff the chicken into a duck, stuff the duck into a turkey? We have nothing else to do?!!!

Dayenu! I didn't come all the way out of slavery to Pharoah in Egypt to be a frackin' galley slave!!!

Calming down now. :)