Saturday, December 24, 2005

7 Pounds of Ham, Dear Lord, 7 Pounds of Ham

I must love this man or something.

I asked what he wanted for Christmas Eve dinner, and he said 'ham and yams'. So we went to the grocery store, and I got stuff for lunch tomorrow, and yams, and I told the fella, 'go get the ham you want, honey', and he came back with a seven pound 'butt cut' or something like that. Seven pounds of ham.

So we went home, and I fixed other food (including an artichoke for me, since I couldn't have the ham, clearly.) And I put the ham in the oven, and I gave it two and ha half hours, and the fella carved, and carved, and carved. 7 pounds of ham.

Then we ate dinner.

Now, of course, we've got maybe six and a half pounds of ham, six pounds if you take the bone out. It's an almighty lot of ham.

Did I mention that my mother doesn't eat any mammals, at all, let alone chazer, and my father really isn't a ham eater? We've got a lot of ham here, but the poor fella is the only one who will eat it.

Unfortunately, it smells GREAT. I have no problem with most of my California quasi-kosher. I don't care about cheeseburgers, and I don't care about shellfish. I buy kosher meat and eat vegetarian when I'm out. No problem! But pork, oh, occasionally I do miss that. Shar siu bow--Chinese barbecue pork buns--ham sandwiches--crispy bacon--and this stuff smells awesome.

(People, lose no sleep over this. I won't eat it. But I am sniffing the air as I stuff freezer bags full of ham into the freezer.)

Tomorrow is turkey breast, salad, pasta, mashed potatoes w/garlic. And cookies!

Monday is leftovers and the Chronicles of Narnia.

The Slim-Fast comes out Tuesday. But the fella has to go on eating ham sandwiches for the foreseeable future.

Insanity.

3 comments:

Mirty said...

Funny, growing up Kosher, I've always found the aroma of pork to be... kind of ... yucky. (I think we're shaped by early experiences.) Nice of you to accomodate your guy. I don't think I'm that nice. I would probably cook salmon and tell him, "Close your eyes and make believe it's piggy."

brother esav said...

You are a strong strong woman. I'm impressed :)

The back of the hill said...

Deep freeze the ham. Just slice it up, put a layer of wax-paper between sandwich or snack portions, and foil over the entire package. That's what my signifother does with the bacon.

My signifother is Cantonese, by the way. The word for meat in Chinese means pig, if no other type is specified.

If instead of bird-flu, the dangerous new disease was a pig virus, China would declare war on the world rather than give up pig.