Haim Smadar

Over at My Shrapnel, Gila's brought my attention to something that, no offense Gila, I could have avoided having my attention brought to--the fact that there's now a documentary about a 2002 suicide bombing in Jerusalem. This is the one that motivated Newsweek to run a picture of the bomber and one of her victims side by side, since they were both West Semite girls in their late teens with long dark hair, and it was somehow supposed to 'mean' something, or at least tug at your heartstrings.

Anyway, now we've got this.

Gila does a pretty good job slicing and dicing the Director's Statement, so I'll leave it be. But this caught my attention, since there were actually two victims of Ayat al-Akhras' March 29, 2002 attack, and the one who goes unprofiled in this movie happens to be a personal hero.

Over the years, name after name, terror attacks start to run together. But now and then, one stranger, one face, one detail stands out and remains with you, and for me that was Haim Smadar, the 55-year old security guard at the supermarket that day. He was born in Tunis, the same year as my father, and was the father of six. During the school year he worked as a security guard at a school, but was working shifts at the grocery store to make a little holiday money during the Pesach break.

We'll never know how many lives he saved by intercepting the bomber as she moved toward her target. Witnesses say that his last words to al-Akhras, as he stopped her from entering the store were "You are not coming in here. You and I will blow up out here."

He'd always told his wife he would never allow a terrorist to get into his school, that he would stop an attack with his own body. He was not kidding.

Just an ordinary, everyday hero.

Keeping California Kosher

For those of you who aren't from around here, "California Kosher" is often used as a euphemism for "vegetarian, no hechsher, but what could be wrong with vegetarian?" So much so that my poor father, a cheeseburger-loving Catholic who does extensive work in the Jewish community has sometimes implored people to remember that "kosher" is not the Hebrew word for "nuts and berries".

The Balabusta's kitchen represents its own compromises. I have one set of everything, which is used for dairy, meat, and my husband's trayf microwave treats. I buy kosher meat, and read labels for egregious problems. And I don't make Cheesy Pasta Beef Delight Casserole. (This could be attributed to aesthetics, as well as religious concerns.) Everything else is pretty much up for grabs. (Don't even ask about Pesach. There's tin-foil, and a lot of wishful thinking involved. One of my fondest memories of my early teens is sitting with my father on one of the days of Pesach, out on our porch, enjoying the springtime breeze while he ate a sandwich from the supermarket.)

Naturally, this leads to all the frum Jews I know thinking I'm just a step away from eating a pork roast on Yom Kippur, while everyone else thinks I'm a dangerous religious fanatic. Go figure.

I have a fantasy that someday we will have a lot of money, and will have a house with, as I envision it, a big, properly kosher kitchen with two dishwashers and a compartmentalized fridge, and then a separate little kitchenette for my husband's stuff. He can keep his pork products there, and his carbs during Pesach, and a supply of beef jerky, and all the trayfedick-o-rama microwave stuff he enjoys.

There are also some additional problems with the Balabusta-Fella household's eating habits. Namely, religious concerns aside, we simply don't like a lot of the same foods. I like vegetables. A lot. The fella has a short list of vegetables he will eat if I think they're needed to keep him from getting scurvy.

I feel guilty if I eat too much meat. The fella feels deprived if there's not meat in most meals.

I like fish. The fella will not touch any kosher fish. (How the hell do you grow up in Hawaii and not like fish? He can pronounce the state fish of Hawaii, that's the humuhumunukunukuapua'a BTW, but he won't eat halibut.) He likes crab, but there, you see, we run into other problems again.

We have gradually grown together on some things. He will now eat pasta, (although not macaroni and cheese), and actually craves pesto. (This is thanks to my sister-in-law, who sent him a jar from Italy. When it ran out, he commented that we should ask her to send more. This led to the wonderful discovery that they sell pesto in American grocery stores.) We eat a lot of chicken. And every now and then he reminds me that I'm doing the cooking, and should just put food in front of him--if he can't eat it, he will heat a Hot Pocket.

Anyway, I'm usually on the lookout for new foods. At my old shul's Chanukah Bazaar, my mother bought me a new cookbook, titled, fetchingly, California Kosher. It appears to be the work of the Women's League of Adat Ari El Synagogue in North Hollywood, and it has a big navel orange stamped with a K on the cover.

I am having fun. We have discovered a really nice chicken recipe, so far, and I am planning to get some rhubarb and make the stuffed rhubarb recipe. Let you know how it goes. Actually, I know how it will go, having fed the fella stuffed peppers in the past, but the point is, he eats the filling.

The thing I'm still looking for is a fleishig kosher lasagna recipe. Anyone? Anyone?

On Vacation

For some reason, George C. Moonbat gives you Presidents' Day week off--what they call "Ski Week" in Marin.

I don't ski--never seen the attraction--but I am just starting to relax slightly.

Also, I can see the bottom of my sink again. This is good.

Today I am going to:

Send away for transcripts from my various colleges,
Get quarters from the bank,
Do a lot of laundry,
Cook something yummy,
Work out,
and possibly vacuum.

I have three pairs of new earrings, too! My husband negotiated for someone to bring me earrings back from their vacation in exchange for him sitting their cat! They are silver and dangly, and have amber bits.

(The fact that we were expecting Einat back from her trip to pick up her keys did lead to us opening the door around eight for a schnorrer from some moonbat organization, who began by telling us that he was a peace activist, and asking if the idea of George Bush getting control of more nuclear weapons ((he wasn't funny enough to say 'nuke-you-lahr')) made us want to vomit. Just what we needed before dinner. Although neither of us is keen on the idea of Mr. Bush fooling around with nukes, we closed the door on this chap anyway.)

But also a simcha!

My cousin is engaged! To a super girl! (OK, there had to be something good after that long extended wail!)

The Weekly Dozen

1. Grades are in. I think this is my last year of full-time teaching. I've decided to apply to a counseling program.

2. A parent has been shreiing at me for weeks to enter a couple of grades for her son. I finally did it. Thank God. The woman is hysterical with me, accusing me of lying to her. THe kid is getting approximately 117 percent for the semester, and no, that's not an exaggeration. Because his mother, my best student, is doing all the work.

3. Clinique Elixir Aromatics does not work for me. Too old-fashioned. Pretty, but smells like a lady of my grandma's generation would wear it to shul. Can't get used to the smell on me.

4. I thank God managed to get a refill on my Paxil.

5. Yesterday I went to Barney's. (Yes, Barney's NY is now in San Francisco.) I wanted to check out a lipstick brand that everyone says is superamazing, and is exclusive to them. I made my way to the basement, and left about five minutes later, because I was afraid I would knock over a $300.00 knicknack, and because a man with a middle European accent and a scarf around his neck and a young anorexic girl with hilarious Vogue-ready eye makeup had both started to trail me with worried expressions. Not your normal department store.

6. I want new glasses.

7. I got home last night and discovered that my boss called me on my cell, and at home. WHO CALLS ON THE WEEKEND? WHAT DID I DO? PROBABLY ABOUT GRADES? AAACK!

8. My husband is addicted to the Ritz Toasted Chips, especially the garlic mozzarella flavor.

9. My husband is looking for a part-time job.

10. I'm stressed.

11. Why does the house never get clean and stay that way? And why are my dishes being fruitful and multiplying in the sink?

12. Coffee. I need more coffee.

Balancing the Equation

Today, I was supervising my "Activity and Exercise" hour. I do not remember exactly how we decided we needed to have "Activity and Exercise" hour at the school, but it doesn't matter. Once a week I supervise "Activity and Exercise" hour for about fifteen kids. This would be called 'recess' if they were not teenagers.

Anyway, I was chatting with Gershon, and somehow the topic of Christmas tree ornaments came up. Gershon told me that a few months ago he put a firecracker into a Christmas ornament, and took some shrapnel when the thing blew up.

"I'm sorry you got hurt," said I, "but Gershon, you must have realized when you put a firecracker in a glass sphere..."

"I didn't totally balance the equation," he admitted.

That may sum up the teenage male experience.

Later in the day, Yochanan, who is approximately six foot one, took a leap in my classroom and cracked his skull, hard, against the ceiling.

Didn't totally balance the equation. That's all I've got to say.

Unprintable Opinions

Evidently, this is unprintable in Ms. Magazine. And my thoughts about Ms., at the moment, are equally unprintable.

Appears that the AJC attempted to place the ad linked above in Ms., and were rejected. http://www.ajcongress.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=6709:

January 10, 2008 — Ms. Magazine has long been in the forefront of the fight for equal rights and equal opportunities for women. Apparently that is not the case if the women happen to be Israeli.

Actually, I will disagree. I think that if a suitably leftist Israeli group had highlighted their leadership, they would have been accepted.

The magazine has turned down an AJCongress advertisement that did nothing more controversial than call attention to the fact that women currently occupy three of the most significant positions of power in Israeli public life. The proposed ad included a text that merely said, “This is Israel,” under photographs of President of the Supreme Court Dorit Beinish, Vice Prime Minister and Minister for Foreign Affairs Tzipi Livni and Knesset Speaker Dalia Itzik.

I am also reasonably sure that if an add featuring three female Palestinian politicians had been submitted, it would have been fine.

“What other conclusion can we reach,” asked Richard Gordon, President of AJCongress, “except that the publishers − and if the publishers are right, a significant number of Ms. Magazine readers − are so hostile to Israel that they do not even want to see an ad that says something positive about Israel?”

When Director of AJCongress’ Commission for Women’s Empowerment Harriet Kurlander tried to place the ad, she was told that publishing the ad “will set off a firestorm” and that “there are very strong opinions” on the subject − the subject presumably being whether or not one can say anything positive about Israel. Ms. Magazine publisher Eleanor Smeal failed to respond to a signed-for certified letter with a copy of the ad as well as numerous calls by Mr. Gordon over a period of weeks.

I love this. "There are strong opinions" about a great number of political conflicts. This is the one, however, where nominally progressive publications are expected to take sides. It does seem rather funny, though, for Ms. Magazine, of all publications, to shy off from 'setting off a firestorm'.

A Ms. Magazine representative, Susie Gilligan, whom the Ms. Magazine masthead lists under the publisher’s office, told Ms. Kurlander that the magazine “would love to have an ad from you on women’s empowerment, or reproductive freedom, but not on this.” Ms. Gilligan failed to elaborate what “this” is.

Possible interpretations of 'this':
1. An endorsement of the existing Israeli government.
2. An endorsement of the existing Israeli state.
3. An endorsement of Dorit, Tzipi and Dalia, and their respective political positions.

Also, I wonder if Ms. has been willing to run any of Blue Star's pieces about women's empowerment?

“The only conclusion that one can reach from this behavior is that Ms. Magazine feels that an ad highlighting the accomplishments of three incredibly talented and dedicated women would offend their readership. Since there is nothing about the ad itself that is offensive, it is obviously the nationality of the women pictured that the management of Ms. fears their readership would find objectionable. For a publication that holds itself out to be in the forefront of the Women’s Movement, this is nothing short of disgusting and despicable,” stated Mr. Gordon.

Ms. Magazine has a long record of publishing advertisements rallying readers to support reproductive choice; opposing the Religious Right; highlighting the fragility of the pro-Roe v. Wade majority on the Supreme Court; charging that “Pat Robertson and his Religious Right cohorts don’t like individual freedom;” announcing support for the “struggle for freedom and human rights;” opposing the Bush administration’s campaign to fill federal courts with judges who “will reverse decades of progress on reproductive rights and privacy, civil rights, religious liberty, environmental protection and so much more;” as well as accusing the Bush administration of being “bent on rewarding big corporations and the rich, turning back the clock on women’s rights and civil rights, and promoting a U.S. empire abroad.”

“This flagship publication of the American women’s empowerment movement publishes ads that are controversial in the general culture but not so among its readership,” Ms. Kurlander said. “Obviously, Ms. believes our ad would enflame a significant portion of their readers.”

Ms. is probably correct, or at least it would enflame a significant portion that would make an enormous stink in the part of the world Ms. keeps an eye on.

Mr. Gordon added, “What really amazes me is that just recently, in their Winter 2007 issue, Ms. ran a cover story with a picture of Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi with the heading in big letters: “This is What a Speaker Looks Like.” While Ms. has every reason to be proud of Speaker Pelosi and her accomplishments, as are we, the only discernable difference between Speaker Pelosi and Speaker Itzik apparently is that Speaker Pelosi is not Israeli.”

Once again, curious, have they run a piece on Condi Rice with the heading "This Is What A Secretary of State Looks Like"? Most likely not.

Mr. Gordon noted that while Israel was apparently too hot to handle, Ms. Magazine did not extend that taboo to Arab and Moslem women. “What is even more amazing is that, while refusing to publish a simple ad praising three very notable women, women who embody the ideal that Ms. Magazine seemingly espouses, Ms. has run a cover article in the Fall 2003 issue on Queen Noor of Jordan, has featured a number of articles on Muslim women, and even ran an article in the Winter 2004 issue entitled, ‘Images of Palestine,’ which discussed the Ramallah Film Festival and gave sympathetic reviews to films concerning ‘the liberation of South Lebanon’ from Israel as well as numerous films which portrayed terrorism as legitimate ‘revolutionary’ activity against Israel and miscast Israel’s activities to counter terrorism as ‘oppressive.’”

We know the drill, Gordon. We know the drill.

“Clearly Ms. has changed a great deal from the days when AJCongress members and leaders of the AJCongress’ Commission for Women’s Equality − including Betty Friedan, Bella Abzug and Ms. co-founder Letty Pogrebin − were at the forefront of the Women’s Movement that led to the creation of Ms. Magazine.”

But read Phyllis Chesler and Letty Pogrebin's subsequent writings for some perspective on those early days, and how completely indifferent to anti-Semitism, and supportive of anti-Zionism, the leadership of insitutionalized centrist U.S. feminism has always been.

AJCongress President Gordon concluded, “Ms. has the right to turn down our ad. But in exercising that right, it has spoken loudly about itself and its readership, and their lingering hostility to Israel.”

GAWD. Is there anything lefty left out there that I CAN do? I mean, reading Ms. seems like a kind of pleasant your-mama's-feminism thing to do. Can't wear Code Pink high tops. Can't go to peace marches. Can't read Ms. Magazine. Can't vacation in France. What are these people trying to DO to me? (OK, don't answer that question. I get it. I'm just cranky.)

Preparing to write letters. Feh.

Arun Gandhi Falls Into It

"Apparently, in the modern world, so determined to live by the bomb, this is an alien concept. You don't befriend anyone, you dominate them. We have created a culture of violence (Israel and the Jews are the biggest players) and that Culture of Violence is eventually going to destroy humanity."

It's not the reflexive peace-through-wishing rhetoric that interests me, it's the amazing assertion that Israel--ISRAEL--is the 'biggest player' on any world stage except, possibly, Bamba consumption.

Wow. He actually ****ing came out and said it. Wow.

Back to, ugh, work

So I get an e-mail from my director, cced to the other director, and to some woman I have never the heck heard of. Seems that the woman I never heard of is a student at a local college, and will be available this spring to work in my classroom as a 'field placement'. Is that OK with me?

Well, no. I do not know who this woman is, or what her teaching background is. I do not know what her field placement will be in. I do not know how much time she plans to spend in my classroom on a weekly basis. I do not know if her 'field placement' requires me to act as a mentor, turn a section of my class over to her, or otherwise assist her, or evaluate her, or if the point is that she will be teaching me. Until I have some idea of these things, I am not issuing an open invite to the classroom.

Not that it will help much. Today I got the math substitute teacher in as a floater. I am also going to have the director's wife, who is teaching part-time, coming in four days a week to hang out in my English class. The director himself showed up for an extended period, in history, told me later that the discussion was nice, ummm...well, we'll talk more later. My classroom is like Grand Central Station. The Directortzin was in last week, and at the staff meeting was full of observations about how things were going in the classroom.

The margarine of my humility is getting spread pretty thin.

This morning, Morah Rina invited a friend of hers who counsels and teaches at UC to talk to the kids about their futures. The kids were AWFUL.

I am a litle bit crabby right now.

Best NH Debate Moment

Watched the Democrats debate in NH last night. Kind of wish I'd turned on the TV in time to catch the Republicans, but...maybe not.

Anyway, a stranger to the situation might have been forgiven for thinking that Hillary and Barack were going through a divorce, it was that snide and barely civil. Edwards was overflowing with emotion and blue-collar authenticity. Meanwhile, Richardson, Lord love him, kept talking about energy policy and education and things like that. But the best Richardson moment...well, I'll let the Santa Fe New Mexican fill you in:

Richardson was candid in his response to Gibson's final question: What have you said in a previous debate that you wished you hadn't said?

Obama and Clinton completely dodged the question, and Edwards said his regrettable moment was making fun of Clinton's salmon-colored jacket, which had fallen flat in an earlier debate.

But Richardson recalled a blunder that earned him criticism — naming Byron "Whizzer" White as his model Supreme Court justice.

He said he named White because the justice was nominated by John F. Kennedy, whom the governor said was his idol.

"Then I found out that Whizzer White was against Roe vs. Wade," he said referring to the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion. "And he was against civil rights.

"That wasn't a good one," Richardson deadpanned. This won him laughter and applause.

It was a really interesting moment. Honest, funny, and the kind of mistake I can easily imagine myself making at some point. And really interesting, coming after Hillary's response, which was essentially, "Oh, I thought I made a mistake in a previous debate, but I was wrong. Now the Republicans, on the other hand, they've made a lot of mistakes." And Obama's response which was essentially. "I too once thought I had made a mistake. I must agree with Senator Clinton about the Republicans, though..."

I know the big Dubya factor was supposed to be that America wanted to have a beer with him...and look how that turned out...but I do think I would enjoy having lunch with Bill Richardson. Even if he does seem to think the Soviet Union is still around.

Will Pick Avocados for Childcare

Over on Ra'anana Ramblings, a post and thread about kibbutzim and childcare that's got me slightly upset.

Basically, it seems there's some documentary about raising children on kibbutzim in the old days, when the kids were raised communally. THe resulting thread produced a lot of 'how could they have' commentary. The Balabusta, feeling contrary, commented:

I am starting to think about having a family, and one of the biggest problems we're going to face is how to pay for childcare with two working parents.

I might trade having my kids under my roof all night for knowing that they were being taken care of consistently by someone from my own community, and that they had a permanent community of their own to rely on.

OK. I get back (from three respondents):

BBJ- hmmm, see this movie and you might think twice about your last paragraph. One sentiment that was clearly expressed in this movie was about how cruel and lonely it can be growing up in a group of children, without having your nuclear family to return to at night. Children can be very cruel, no matter how good the supervision is.

BBJ, if and when you have children, if you and your baby bond well, you will be extremely sad to turn over your baby to a nanny and will be anxious to see him/her as soon as you can. And as Abby pointed out, young children are not capable of "being relied on" as a community.

BBJ: You've already gotten some good replies to your comment, so I'll just reiterate that once you have kids, no way would you be so willing to have them sleep elsewhere. Take my word for it :-)

GRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAN. Rant herewith:

1. Is there an equally great documentary discussing the horrors of growing up in a nuclear family? I've got enough friends who were abused by siblings and parents that I'm a little wary of the trashing of the kibbutzim for stuff that happens in a wide variety of settings.

2. Thanks for suggesting the baby and I might not bond well, in which case I'd be happy to hand her over to a nanny, I guess.

3. "NANNY"? We're talking about a daycare center in someone's house.

You know, it's not so much that I don't get that when I have a baby I will love him more than anything else in the Whole Wide World. It's just that I have watched my friends start their families, and go through experiences that included paying a quarter of the family's salary for indifferent childcare, and straining family bonds by needing more childcare than the family could easily provide.

So, yes, I stand by my statement.

In real life, I will try to eke out some time when I am on vacation, take a little maternity leave, do what I can. By the time the baby is a toddler, we'll be doing daycare, hopefully at the JCC, and pinching pennies for it. Luckily the husband will be out or almost out of school at that point, and we'll have some more options, options that will still involve daycare.

Would I prefer to be an at-home mommy for the first ten years or something? Sure.

But would I trade having the baby at home overnight for not having to rush to pick her up, worry incessantly about the caring and background and qualifications of the carer, and pay a quarter or more of my salary just to have a place for the baby to be safe during the day? For having the kid at home in the evenings to do homework, chat, watch movies, bond, hang out, and then return to the children's house? WATCH ME.

This is not because I do not understand that I will cry when the baby house lady comes to pick up the baby. It's because I've watched friends cry when they drop the baby off at the daycare, and then cry again when the bill for the daycare comes.

Nanny. Bloody hell, who has a nanny?

Countdown to Iowa

I admit it. I love campaigns. They're like soap operas, except entirely real, so you don't feel foolish for becoming emotionally involved.

Mrs. Bluejeans Sr. has gotten to the point where the word "momentum" gives her nausea, and The Husband has only reluctantly agreed to register to vote just in case Huckabee wins the Republican nomination. But the Balabusta is having a grand old time. Herewith is her take on the whole amazing situation:

This is the "just no way" election. We have a woman frontrunner, a black man gaining on her, a Mormon, and Rudy Giuliani. And we haven't gotten to the WEIRD candidates yet. Oh my. A few notes:

CLINTON: Gennifer Flowers said she may vote for her, which I see as a considerable endorsement. Honestly, I like Hillary very much. If she becomes president, I will do considerable screaming as she does various things I do not like, but that's expected. She's sensible, hard-headed, and I think she knows exactly what she is getting into. I also cannot imagine that after the first Clinton's administration there is a single scandal in her closet that has not been strip-mined, which is a GOOD thing. If she does establish a Clinton dynasty, do you think Chelsea will run next?

GIULIANI: There's no way the Republican party is going to nominate an Italian, Catholic, New York, three-times-married social liberal to run for President of the United States on their ticket. I honestly cannot figure out the Giuliani thing at all, unless the famous twitchy evangelical base can somehow be persuaded to vote for the man with no idea at all of his record and personal life. This seems unlikely. They have a reputation for checking on these things.

Basically, as far as I can tell, Giuliani has two assets. One: he ended crime in New York City, so that by the end of his reign a young maiden carrying gold and jewels on her person could walk from one end of Central Park to the other, at two in the morning, without fear of being molested...wait, I think that was King Arthur. Well, same idea. Also, he behaved well during the events following September 11. (No sarcasm here. He did good mayor work. He did the right stuff, and said the right stuff.)

But I don't think that will help.

HUCKABEE: The name is a disadvantage. President Huckabee? On the other hand, he seems to have a number of clear-cut advantages. Ex-governor--very good. Has popular appeal. Baptist. Clear-cut social conservative. Doesn't look unlike a President on TV, but accessible.

Huckabee scares the hell out of me. I do not think he's a bad man. I just think he's a man whose values will not line up with mine no matter how we try. I am making my husband register to vote just so he can vote against Huckabee if necessary.

Additional note: What the heck is in the water in Hope, Arkansas?

OBAMA: Young, idealistic, good looking, married to a very smart and lovely woman, pretty small daughters. They would look so good on the White House Christmas card I can't even begin to imagine. Limited experience, but that's true for a lot of this batch. Then there's the Oprah thing.

I had a suggestion earlier in the campaign that Oprah herself should run for president. There are advantages to this: First, instead of grinding through the "do we get a black president or a woman president first" deal, we get both in one attractive package, and we're done. Second, Oprah would be a uniter. Women from both parties love her, and men from both parties wish the women would turn the show off, but might be tempted to vote for her so she'd be so busy she couldn't air the show. I don't think Stedman is First Gentleman material, but Oprah's BFF Gayle could act as First Lady, and would do it with great style. Just imagine the great outfits they would wear for the inauguration.

Back to dismal reality: my main worry about Obama is that, out of the Democratic hopefuls, I am not sure that he has any idea what's going to hit him if he wins. Partisan politics is hitting new depths this decade. Hillary knows. I think Edwards knows. I dunno if Barak knows. Also, if he wins, the lurking lava of racism in American society is gonna come squirting out from under the rocks under high pressure, and I do not envy the Secret Service this one. Nor Michelle. It's a lot.

Additional note: I think it would be so cool to have a president named Barak.

PAUL: I cannot figure the Ron Paul thing out. I leave this one to LGF. They seem fascinated with him.

ROMNEY: Well, he LOOKS like a President. His family is photogenic (he scores a second place on most adorable family photo for Christmas cards, only because Obama's kids are still little) He seems fairly Presidential. And although his business history can be made to yield scandal aplenty, I don't think that will be enough to impede a nomination. His nominally pro-choice history, and his brush with same-sex marriages might--but most importantly, he's a Mormon. My gal Niamh, who has Mormon relatives, is pretty sure that this is enough to kick him out of the circle for most of Middle America. Me, I dunno. I think of Mormons as a sort of Extreme Christian spin-off, with extra prophets and really clean living. Romney doesn't drink, smoke, or run around with loose women, and he's still on his first photogenic wife. This seems like a GOOD thing to me. (I mean, if there was even a small chance I might vote for him, but I'm speaking hypothetically.) He seems like the Republicans' best bet. But who knows?

Who Am I, Anyway?

I got a response to my last post that made me think I should clear some stuff up:

Tamara Eden wrote:

Hi there,

I'm updating my blogroll and can't figure out if you should go in my Teacher list or my Jewish list.

Which do you think your blog best fits?

Also, I'm so confused on your blog. Are you a public or a Jewish school teacher? Are you frum? Just curious. I'm sort of one of those lurkers who doesn't comment enough (blushing).

Hi Tamara!

As far as where my blog best fits, I think "Jewish" is probably better than "Teacher", although I do blog about both. Maybe there could be a Jewish Teacher category? Dunno. Do as you see fit.

Now, as for where the heck I teach: I teach at a public charter high school in Richmond, California. Last year I taught at a Catholic school in Oakland. The reason you're confused, I think, is because I assign all the students and staff I write about pseudonyms that are almost always Hebrew names. My students are primarily African American and/or Latino, and nearly all Christian or culturally Christian. (They would point out here that many of them are CATHOLIC, which they do not see as a Christian faith. Sigh.) In real life they have names that reflect their ethnicity and faith, and the names that were popular fifteen years ago.

I just refer to them as Yochanan, Merav, Chaim, Mushkie, Imma Shalom, Meir, etc., because I want to protect their identities, and I'm having fun. I used to call my students things like Kid X, and Nice Korean Kid #2, but last year I referred to a boy as Dovidl (an indirect play on the nice Arabic name his mother gave him), and then it seemed natural to call the girl he blamed for getting him in trouble Brachi, and the next thing I knew, they all had Hebrew names. I admit that this is more complicated than the RenReb's policy of simply calling everyone Phil, but it is sort of fun. The names are assigned haphazardly, on an as-needed basis, and sometimes change if I think of a better one. Mostly they allude to the sound or meaning of the original name.

Am I frum? No, or at least, adayin lo. My gentile husband thinks I'm a religious extremist. My Jewish friends know better. I buy kosher meat, eat veggie out, light for the holidays, daven once in a while, and dream of doing better. I was raised Reform, and am tending to drift back that way, after a time in the Conservative movement, simply because Reform is coming right-ward to meet me. I'm just serious about being Jewish, in my own eclectic way.

My father is Irish Catholic, and my husband is a non-practicing cultural Protestant, so my Yiddishkeit is, let's say, culturally complicated. And I'm from San Francisco, so everything about me, actually, is culturally complicated.

Hope this is helpful, although I can actually see how it might be even more confusing. Are you on winter break as well?

Nollaig Shona Dhuit

We had a super Christmas Eve at the Bluejeans-Fella residence. I made dinner--artichokes for me, ham for him, yams and corn for everyone--and we opened presents and watched some of his present (first season of NCIS), and I had champagne, and we stayed up late, well, late for me. Very nice. Today we meet my parents for an early dinner. I missed the Christmas pageant at my father's church, though, which is always adorable. (Small children in sheep masks. "And they went to Bethlehem, the city of King David. King David. KING DAVID!" (kid in crown is finally shoved forward by assertive altar girl.))

I wonder what it will be like in future years. I suppose I should admit this--I want to start a family in 2008. Just saying that terrifies me, and it will terrify the husband worse. (My father, however, will be awfully cheery.)Scares me to death. My work situation is better than in years past, but still wacked. I still don't know how to drive. The husband is a full-time college student. The house is messy.

We're still better off than an awful lot of first-time parents. I am slowly paying off my credit cards. Babies can ride in little backpacks. (They can even attend college classes with their fathers. I did.)

And every time I get to a holiday now, I think of what it will be like to share it with a little Bluejeans-Fella. I look at little kid menorahs. I imagine being one of the moms at shul. I listen to the parents I work with for clues as to how you handle homework and spats with friends.

Diagnosis: broody.

Vacation Is Good

I got up late, fixed coffee, and when the husband rolled out of bed, made him bacon, eggs, and toast.

I have a lot to do, but I have two weeks to do it in.

My parents got us a new microwave for Christmas--something we put on the wedding presents list, but didn't get. At some point, the old microwave will be hauled to Goodwill--there's still some use in it, maybe for a student apartment.

Last night I made it into SF for dinner with my parents for the first time in a couple weeks. We went to Tommy's, the best Guatamalan restaurant outside of Guatemala--even if you don't drink designer tequila--and they brought us flan.

Vacation even tastes good.

Have Myself a Merry Little Christmas

Well, I got all my OUT OF STATE Christmas shopping done this morning. Can I just comment that:

1. My husband should have done this a week or two ago, and is going to be gently kicked in the ankle.
2. My sister-in-law needs to put up some items on her Amazon wish list.
3. Next year I'm doing this in October.
4. My coworkers rock--I got two bottles of wine from coworkers yesterday.
5. Secret Santas are exhausting. Not so much the shopping, but the creeping around, and putting things on chairs.
6. The disdvantage to being a Jew in an intermarried family (daughter of and wife in), is that you end up making turkey, mailing packages, stressing out, and at the end of it all, you don't even have a Savior.
7. But to be fair, my in-laws sent me an adorable Chanukah music box, so we're all in this together...

But who cares? I'm on vacation! For two weeks!

And it's needed. This last week took the cake, the cake plate, the serving knife, and the tablecloth underneath it all.

One of my coworkers had not been happy with the school from the beginning. Like the gal who left five weeks into the year, she was having personality conflicts with the directors, and in general, I think, had a vision for the school that she could not get the rest of us signed on to, which she took badly. I missed most of the worst of the craziness, having no authority to help or harm, but it was apparently bad.

So she decided that at the end of the semester she would leave the school, which seemed reasonable enough. The end of the semester is around MLKs birthday--about three weeks after we get back from break.

Unfortunately, however, early this week she got into a fight with the directors about misinformation she was feeding the kids, and quit on the spot.

It's been an interesting week. The most lasting legacy she seems to have given us (which is a pity, she was a good teacher), is that she told all the kids that they were not earning enough credits at our school to transfer out, or graduate on time. This is not the heck true, but a lot of the kids were, justifiably, pretty worried.

Yochanan has FINALLY decided to change schools, and is just being poisonous right now. He and another kid are just convinced we have the worst school in all the world, and they are not mincing words. I try to be cool about this, but after a while it gets truly abrasive.

I need a vacation. Even though a lot of it is going to be spent getting ready for school again.

It's hard out here for a Yid

Over at Westbankmama, she's linking to a blog on a recent news story about some young Jewish guys who got jumped on a train in NYC after they yelled "Happy Hanukkah!" to some guys who were shouting "Merry Christmas".

West Bank Mama writes: "Any new immigrants to Israel having some second thoughts? Here is a reminder of at least one of the reasons you are here..."

Interesting, how Israelis blogging on this incident see it. Jameel is fascinated that the bystander who came to the Jews' aid was a Muslim.

As an American Jew, here's my take: As far as a a certain diverse and unpleasantly well-armed chunk of the world population is concerned, I got a target on my back. And as far as a certain diverse and unpleasantly self-righteous chunk of the world population is concerned, I should be understanding about this, and feel rachmones for people who want to kill me. In the wonderful, extremely graphic comic strip Hothead Paisan, a character named Sharquee, identifies herself as female, black, a lesbian and a prostitute, and comments, "I turn up dead all day long".

Is this a reason to make aliyah? Heck, no. The United States is not, relatively speaking, an unsafe place to be a Jew. (There are no absolutely safe places to be a Jew.) If you go from the States to Israel, go for a better reason (and there are lots) than that there are no drunk anti-Semites on the subway. (I don't know if there are even any subways. But the anti-Semites are often literally rather than figuratively explosive in the Middle East. Reality check. This isn't about physical safety.) And anti-Semites do not stop hating you just because you're living in Ramat Gan.

I'm not at all opposed to people making aliyah, I think it's wonderful, and would encourage anyone who wishes to do so to make it happen for themselves. Me, I just hope to visit one of these days, and maybe then I'll see why I need to live in Israel. But I have an odd knee-jerk reflex to some of the reasons offered me to make the move. It's hard to be a Jew. For all kinds of reasons. But I am not going to let a pack of morons on the subway become some kind of lasting stain on the glory that New York City has been for the Jewish people.

We rock. They do not.

Don't Do Me Any Favors!

How's things at Moonbat? Glad you asked. Let's see:

Shirah was jumped by a bunch of gang-affiliated BLEEEEPs while she was minding her own business at a friend's house.

Elisheva can't go home for reasons that are not clear to me right now, and is living with her aunt.

Karmelit was banned from the computer by her father until her grades improve.

Meir's father has blown a fuse about his grades, and is making him do homework until nine o'clock each evening.

Lior did in fact leave. Don't know if Yochanan is coming back.

Shmueli is off his meds, and bouncing off the walls.

Ari's grandmother is annoyed with us.

New kid, who I shall call Yiskah, started today.

Anyway, I have been afflicted with support from the administration. I am trying not to feel overly annoyed by the support, but who am I fooling?

Basically, right now I am teaching three sections of English, one section of history, and a sort of floating section of ESL, plus an independent study in history, and a section of "Activity and Exercise Time". Following a history activity that went poorly, the ed director decided to get me some help. Said help consists of, for two weeks, a woman who does AMAZING things in history teaching from his old school.

Can she teach me how to teach tenth grade history in two hours a week? (I mean, I have two hours a week to teach the kids.) Not clear. But she has met with me to give me a refresher course in how to teach. (Consistency. Bellringer activities. Establishing classroom expectations.)

I wanted to scream and throw things, but I've had BAAAAD luck with questioning experts from outside in the past, so I smiled, and wrote **** down, and was polite while she explained how to ask them to take their Ipods out.

Why not ask for something different? Frankly, too scared. Bad history. So I sat there and felt ridiculous as she suggested vocabulary activities.

She's a totally nice woman. No one is trying to get me. But still, this is NOT what I need. Another person to answer to. And another person IN MY CLASSROOM, which makes me crazy.

Next time I'm asking for a pony.

Where to Spread the Gelt?

Check out warmtheneedy.org. Thanks to Jameel for this one.

Also, the addictive FreeRice, where you can show off your vocabulary skills and donate rice to the hungry. Simply delightful.

World's Longest Week is Over

I lit for Chanike and Shabbos last night with a real sense of accomplishment. The week in which we had two nights of parent-teacher conferences, plus a board meeting, ie twelve hours work days, is over.

Some highlights:

Merav is gone from the school. Her mother pulled her out of Moonbat after a series of arguments with teachers, hurt feelings about student body politics, and apparently, repeated racial slurs from Yochanan. Which were never discussed with the teachers. Because, per Merav, we wouldn't have done anything. I think this is a lousy decision. First, we should have gotten Yochanan on all those slurs. Secondly, because of the way the semesters are set up, Merav is going to transfer out with no credits from this fall. This, frankly, strikes me as stupid.

Meanwhile, Yochanan was suspended, and may not be returning to the school, on account of those racial slurs, which were finally reported to a teacher by Orit, who apparently took some offense at being called what Don Imus called a well-known ladies' basketball team. Yochanan is mad at us because we searched his bag last week, and, well, generally not too happy with Moonbat. I don't know if he will come back. I like him personally, but would rather have Merav as a student.

Baruch is in big trouble with his mother for failing classes. When pressured to get his grades up by our principal, he claimed racial harassment. (His mother nearly screamed at this point. She is pretty fed up.) I commented, later, that we would be a greater and mightier nation if only racism had traditionally taken the form of trying to force young black men do their homework so they could get into a good college.

Chaim's father may be taking him out of the school to get him away from Mushka. The kids are in love, such love as no one over the age of eighteen has ever been in, and Chaim's father is not too happy about this for various reasons.

And apparently, Lior's mom is also taking him out, for no reason that I can fathom. And Ayelet's mom is moving out of the area and taking the kid with her. (This nearly led to a scene at the board meeting; I told Umm Ayelet that she could move to a safer neighborhood if she had to, but the kid was staying here, and could sleep on my couch if necessary. I will miss Ayelet.)

Meanwhile, I have been trying to explain to the kids that there is a very good reason to get off your duff and try to pass my class: if you do not pass, you will get no credits, and either have to take summer school, or, if this is not possible, you may have to take the entire class all over again. Next fall. With me. (I have no idea if I will really be returning, but in class there is no doubt.)

They don't quite believe it. Many of the kids at Moonbat are currently obsessed with the idea of escaping Moonbat for Gangbanger City High School, or Up-In-The-Hills Somewhere High School. At these establishments, they believe, their lack of credits because they failed everything this semester will not matter. They will get much less work. There will be better, nicer teachers who teach stuff right. They will not have to read the great classics in English class. THey will get to take 'real' classes. They will be allowed to talk in class and make out with their honeys on the playground, unhindered by teachers who are 'tryna do too much'. No one will call their parents. (This is true. They may call the police, though.)

Gangbanger City High = Great Rock Candy Mountain. I kind of want to go there myself. Except I've talked to people who've taught there, and apparently it's not so great as all that.

Anyway. I have good coffee, and am unwinding now.