The Weekly Dozen

1. Grades are in. I think this is my last year of full-time teaching. I've decided to apply to a counseling program.

2. A parent has been shreiing at me for weeks to enter a couple of grades for her son. I finally did it. Thank God. The woman is hysterical with me, accusing me of lying to her. THe kid is getting approximately 117 percent for the semester, and no, that's not an exaggeration. Because his mother, my best student, is doing all the work.

3. Clinique Elixir Aromatics does not work for me. Too old-fashioned. Pretty, but smells like a lady of my grandma's generation would wear it to shul. Can't get used to the smell on me.

4. I thank God managed to get a refill on my Paxil.

5. Yesterday I went to Barney's. (Yes, Barney's NY is now in San Francisco.) I wanted to check out a lipstick brand that everyone says is superamazing, and is exclusive to them. I made my way to the basement, and left about five minutes later, because I was afraid I would knock over a $300.00 knicknack, and because a man with a middle European accent and a scarf around his neck and a young anorexic girl with hilarious Vogue-ready eye makeup had both started to trail me with worried expressions. Not your normal department store.

6. I want new glasses.

7. I got home last night and discovered that my boss called me on my cell, and at home. WHO CALLS ON THE WEEKEND? WHAT DID I DO? PROBABLY ABOUT GRADES? AAACK!

8. My husband is addicted to the Ritz Toasted Chips, especially the garlic mozzarella flavor.

9. My husband is looking for a part-time job.

10. I'm stressed.

11. Why does the house never get clean and stay that way? And why are my dishes being fruitful and multiplying in the sink?

12. Coffee. I need more coffee.