Wedding Progress

A few notes. These are a touch out of date, but I thought I'd post them anyhow...

1. It is an interesting challenge to incorporate an Irish theme into a Jewish wedding. I am considering,after this experience, opening a Cafepress storecalled JudeoCeltia. I have found a pretty chuppah in a knotwork pattern on one site, and have sent the picture on to Groomra for consideration.

2. I'm trying to start to work on the wedding itself. What about the God language? “Is Groomra going to ‘now kiss the bride’”, asks my mother, “or will you be frum?”Do we use any of the language from the Book of CommonPrayer? To have and to hold? In sickness and in health? Love, honor and cherish? I do? (Groomra ’s call. If it’s significant to him...)

3. “Have you considered,” asks my ever-prepared mother, “what you’ll do if Rabbi Bruriah (the new nom de guerre of our officiant) can’t make it to the wedding? God forbid it should be an emergency, butwhat if Rabbi Bruriah gets a flat tire on the morningof the wedding and can’t make it? What if the bridge is closed?” I also need to check with Rabbi Bruriah as regards our ketubah. To some degree, this is a real formality,since the wedding has absolutely no halachic significance. Some of the headaches caused by feminism, feuding texts, concerns about a possible future get, etc., are totally bypassed by marrying a gentile. This frees me up to worry about things like finding a printer that will do both Hebrew and knotwork, and what we will do if the rabbi gets trapped in an elevator.

4. The issue of what the mothers will wear at the wedding is going to be an interesting one. Groomra’smother called to ask what she should wear. “Wear whatever you like,” I answered. I’m not dressing my bridesmaids in matching pastel outfits, and I’m sure not going to dictate to my future mother-in-law what she should wear. I’ve been amazed by the venom that gets spilled in the brides-online world about thewhole issue of who wears what, and who pays for the outfits...aaagh. Not going there.

So: “Wear whatever you want,” I say. “Don’t tell me that!” says Ima shel Grooma. All right, this is a rather casual lady, and I guess“whatever you want” would be sweats, which would be OKby me, but she sounds doubtful, so I reassess.“Wear whatever Tante shel Groomra tells you to,” I say, referring to her partner, and Groomra’s other mom, a more conservative individual, with a greater sense of conventional propriety. So that’s taken care of--I hope they don’t get the idea they need to put ISG into pantyhose or something, but it’s up to them, or rather, to TSG.

We also need to get something for my mother to wear, and this is a closer-to-home headache. Mrs. Bluejeans does not like to shop. Mrs. Bluejeans REALLY does notlike to shop. The prospect of choosing amother-of-the-bride outfit is already affecting her,and we have several months to go. God willing, one ofthe couple of clothing stores she likes will produce an elegant ensemble in purple in the next couple of months and we’ll be done.

5. My father, who likes to shop, is carefully planning his clothes. He is also reading up on the duties of the father of the bride, which I think have mostly traditionally been to pay for everything--and apparently staying sober is also considered important.He is also now the self-appointed attache on shul security matters to the Bluejeans-Fella wedding.

In addition, I now have another lead on a wedding dress, have been turned down by two caterers and am making contact with another, and, oh, every bloody thing. Wish me well.