Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I'm on Drugs

Around Sunday I started to freak out completely with work-related stress. Mr. Balabusta Sr., who is a big believe in better living through chemistry, marched me to Kaiser and had me spill the whole wretched story to a nice doctor who gave me some anxiety meds and strongly recommended I talk to my general practitioner.

Who I have never actually met. Name of Fong? Something like that. Anyway.

I now have generic Xanax, and some beta-blockers. I have been taking them in small doses. I have really mixed feelings about this, but I have to admit the world has improved about a hundred and ten percent. I am calmer, and able to think of sensible solutions. I do not cry when I get to school. I do not have a panic attack when my principal walks by. I stay calm, and fairly stable. This allows me to go home and--well--act like a human being.

The fella is somewhat baffled. After months of weeping wailing snarling girlfriend, he has a happy, stable, rather playful woman wandering around the house.

I'm moderately disturbed by how unlike myself I feel, and by how nice that is. Appt. with therapist on Shabbos, will discuss.

Anyway. This isn't a permanent solution, but for the time being, it's allowed me to get through the week, which I would have bet against on Sunday.


Moishe Q. Public said...

That's great. Even just a Xanax to help get a calm night sleep can be wonderful...

Barefoot Jewess said...

Hey sweetie,

I'm glad you wrote about it! It spurred me on that very day to go see my doc. I've been hunting for work for the past 5 weeks, and have no fallback in terms of a friend's couch or a family, when the money runs out in a month.

Had to fight with her who wanted to give me anti-depressants (because they help anxiety). Feh! I've been on them and the side effects make me totally non-functioning.

So, I now have clomazepan and it will help me remain on an even keel and not feel overwhelmed and I'll be able to concentrate and think straight, which is what I need and want.

So, I'm grateful to you; your post was a blessing.

I'm also glad to hear that the meds have helped you. Rock on!!!! You did the right thing.

Balabusta in Blue Jeans said...

Aaack. Sounds very daunting and scary--something you should meet with the clearest possible head. I'm glad I could be helpful...I know I needed someone to give me a push.

Let us know how it goes.

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Mirty said...

Glad to hear you're feeling better.