Going Bridal, Going Educational

Four weeks to go from tomorrow. Ghaagh.

I just finished matching the veil swatches to the dress--I would have said the dress was cream, but apparently the swatch it best matches is 'champagne'. B'seder.

Also sent off a whole lot of personal info to the ketubah lady. Some of it, given my own personal family, was slightly funny. Father's Hebrew Name? (Give Mr. Bluejean's English name) Cohain or Levi? Well, given that the paternal line is English, I suppose he COULD be, just possibly...as the Balabusta begins to make up a suitably romantic tale, she comes back to herself: No.

The machatenim, apparently frustrated at their son's total inability to describe what is happening at his wedding, sent me a very detailed e-mail demanding details. I sent details. They appear much relieved. Apparently, they wanted to know things like "do you have musicians", to which Groomra responded "I don't know." They were getting worried.

We had a small earthquake yesterday morning, very very early. Just a four-point-something. This building is weird with earthquakes. It doesn't sway, it jolts, like someone backed a car into the side of the house. Woke us up, though.

I am fairly sure that I will be offered a job next week, since the place I've interviewed at twice called back and asked for references to call. I also have a possibility of being offered a position at a charter school in Oakland. Did a good interview, I think.

Now, of course, being the Balabusta, I am losing my ever-loving marbles over all this. The job that I am most likely going to accept if it's offered--elaborate anti-evil-eye gestures here--isn't a classroom job. It's perfect in a lot of other ways. If I take it, I will be able to finish my MA thesis, start my next degree, see if I can find a part-time religious-school-teaching gig, learn to drive finally, and do some preparatory work to make sure that if I do go back to teaching it's in a gig that works well for me. Because I will have TIME.

But there's a slight ego trip going on here--why couldn't I do all those things and also teach full-time, like the ur-Balabusta I keep trying to be? WHY?

No answer, except possibly that there really are only 24 hours in the day, no matter what I do.

I've been teaching for three years now, and it has been a long, hard haul. I've ended up at two schools with two totally different sets of extreme problems, and it's been rough, and ego-trashing, and very very difficult. I've learned a lot. I've also sacrificed a lot, and I don't know as it was totally worth it.

I like education. If I stay, I want my next teaching job to be something really good, not just something I grabbed because I needed a gig.

And I really want to enjoy this next year, try new things, enjoy being a newlywed...